Momma

As I go through all the tedious things a new home owner goes through to set up utilities and get everything ready for us to be in our new home, I am reminded today that my mother is always with me. I believe our loved ones send us signs from heaven to let us know that we are not alone. If you are open and aware, you will recognize them. If you are rushing through life, you will not. This little makeup bag belonged to my mother. It was actually in her purse the night she was in the car accident that took her from us. She loved Mary Kay. She had her lipsticks in it and a few other things. I was given her purse after the accident. It still had broken glass in it. As painful as it is to still have something like that, I cannot get rid of it. It's one of the only things I have left of hers. So, I have used this little bag ever since. Every time I look at it, I think of her and it makes me feel like she's with me. During stressful times in my life, I'll find that she pops up in ways that most would pass off as coincidence, but not me. I look at those as signs from her that she's never left me. A facebook memory on a hard day or a song that she liked playing on the radio all remind me that she's with me through the good times and the hard times. On my birthday, a couple of years ago, I was randomly going through a box in the garage looking for something and out fell a birthday card. It was an old birthday card from her when I was a little girl. I can't remember the exact words, but it said that she loved me so much and always would. I took that as her way of sending me a happy birthday from heaven. Today, I was getting something out of the little bag and out fell a news paper clipping. I had forgotten it was even in there. I must have torn it out around 2010. I remembered thinking of her when I read it. That year was a tough one, but also one of the best years of my life because my first son was born that year. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but it was a tough day. I was working on my feet, tired and pregnant. This came across my path one day and gave me some comfort. I put it in this bag because it made me think of her. It was just what I needed to hear today.

A little reminder from heaven that things are going to be okay and that God and my Momma are always with me. I never really forget this, but it's good to get a sign sometimes. A little reassurance when your faith is running low. So, if you have a loved one who has passed, be open to the little God Winks from heaven. They are all around us if we just open our hearts and our eyes. And if you're having a tough time or a bad day, just know that if you have a little faith, things will work out okay. This morning I got a call from my Aunt. Because of the time of the call, early morning, I was so afraid it was a call with bad news. My Mamaw is getting older and more frail each day, and I know that one day I will get that call that she's been called home. My heart sunk. I thought, "This is it. This is the day." Tears came to my eyes. I had to pull over and park the car so that I would be prepared to hear the worst news of my life. I know this sounds dramatic, but when you've lost so many people, you are kind of always waiting for something else to come up, for the other shoe to drop, again. You're always kind of on guard for death and you try to prepare yourself the best you can to soften the blow when it does come, so I prepared myself before calling back. Thankfully, that was not the news. Thankfully, my Mamaw is still here on this earth, and I can still call her and hear her voice and go hug her neck for a while longer. I like to think my Momma saw that this morning, and that maybe that's why this little sweet reminder from heaven literally fell in my lap today. Thanks Momma, Good timing. ;)